There are billions of people on Earth and dividing their personality traits into 12 sun signs totally sounds like an apt choice. And dividing it based on what month, day and time you were born in, sounds even better. Sooner or later, you would find yourself associated with any of these sun signs that bear a testimony to your assholery. And yes that’s a personality trait too. We all are assholes. But that’s not it. You have other traits too. Let’s make you even more ashamed, you stinky asshole! Here are the brutal personality traits based on your sun sign.
Aries (21 March-19 April):
Being born in the month of March/April suggests your parents had sex somewhere around August/September and no, it doesn’t mean anything. It was just to remind you of the nasty things your parents did and do even now. Also, your sun sign suggests no matter how hard you try, you can never get it right. You know what that means, right? You are going to try really hard getting laid and even when you do, you need to try even harder conceiving a child. Yes, your life sucks. And you might have got an idea of it by now.
Taurus (20 April-20 May):
Your sun sign suggests something is holding you back from living the live you have always wanted. And this is your time to realise you are a loser. It’s time to move on and accept that your love for Emma Watson will always be one sided. You also seem to look like an egoistic maniac and you are always in a hurry to get things done. You also seem to suck the fun out of parties by being giving them lectures about how drinking is bad. You really must be ignored by everyone. You suck!
Originally published on Skit Hub
Gemini (21 May-21 June):
Unlike your sun sign, your problems are not “mini”. Your list of bad qualities can go endlessly long. In short, you are fake, superficial and an asshole, but we got that covered already. You love to gossip. Don’t you? In fact, you are the source behind all the bitchiness and hatred in this world, you scumbag. If that doesn’t suffice, you also are an insecure,jealous, and a sorry excuse for a human being. You are such a double-faced human being that you even put Harvey Dent to shame.
Cancer (22 June-22 July):
Now, Do we even need to say anything? Your sun sign does it for you. Yes, You are cancer. Something, no one wants to get near to. You suck on everyone’s blood and almost literally everyone hates you. As a person, almost anything makes you worried and don’t even get me started on how much of a wuss-wuss you are. Oh! But shouldn’t we make fun of cancer? Sorry but Fuck you!
Leo (24 July- 23 August):
And we have yet another egoistic person in the house. No matter how aggressive and dominating person you think you are, because of “Leo”, We are damn sure you are not. You are just an overconfident asshole who thinks he has his ways but in reality, is a sheep. Yes, you often seem to find others intolerant like you are becoming passive aggressive right now, but the truth is that you are the one who can’t be tolerated. Go get a life loser!
Virgo (24 August- 24 September):
Yes, the secret is out. Close to what your sun sign suggests, you are going to die a virgin. And of course, look at you. Who would like to bang an underconfident, low self-esteem person that you are? Just try to sink in this reality and you will be well off. Know how your entire life story would be based on licking other’s boot. And you are good at it too. Bingo!
Libra (24 September- 23 October):
Well, you deserve standing applauds for sure. You think you are the center of universe and sun, the moon and in fact, every planet revolves around you. Wasn’t it a shocker when you finally learnt science? Oh, wait! Are you even educated? In short, you are highly unreliable, too superficial and you disgust every soul on Earth. You are such an asshole even Donald Trump looks like a holy person.
Scorpio (24 October- 23 November):
Ah! Here you are. The person who bites. Not literally, though. You are that type of double faced person who can do anything to defend themselves. You say a lot of lies and you conceal a lot of deep secrets. We know you have been hiding it all, but we have seen it. The gigantic eye in the sky has seen it all on how you murdered your neighbor’s pet and buried it in your backyard. And we are noting all of these. Always remember, Karma is a bitch and it bites even more badly than you would think of.
Sagittarius (23 November — 21 December):
If you think your short-lived popularity in high school will carry on for decades, you are absolutely right. Damn you and your genetics. You owe everything to your parents, you asshole. You haven’t achieved anything worthwhile in your life, it was just your parents who gave you those charming looks. Fuck you for thinking looks don’t matter. I just have one thing in lieu of entire humanity, We hate you!
Capricorn (22nd December to 20th January):
Here’s a fun fact. No one likes to listen to your stale jokes and please don’t expect everyone to laugh at it. You are a typical attention seeker and that’s probably another reason why everyone around hates you. You definitely are the one who ruins every party he goes to. And we don’t have much to blame you, either. You are ugly and unwanted. You would seek attention and that’s okay. You would be fine. Don’t worry!
Aquarius (21st January to 18th February):
You are the person who always likes to stay different than others. In a world where people worship Superman, Batman, and Ironman, you are the only one following Aquaman and that speaks a lot about your character. You are a show-off. No matter how factual and correct any statement is, you would always go on to negate it. That’s your superpower, Mr. Pessimist.
Pisces (19th February to 20th March):
What an apt sun sign! Do you know what else smells like Fish? Yes, you are that. A pussy. The kind who would run away in a fight and you avoid any difficult situation like a plague. That makes you the commander of “loser” quadrant and I am pretty sure you fit in here perfectly. In summary, you stink!
