What is the first image that comes to your mind when you hear the word “love”? Is it a couple holding each other under the falling rain?
Or a couple expressing their love intimately?
Or a couple arguing?
It could be anything based on how you have been conditioned. But does all of it define love? Interestingly, No. A lot of things which we perceive as love isn’t “love” after all.
This is what love isn’t:
1 “Feeling”: We have heard this a lot of times. “But I feel for him/her. I know it’s love”. Sadly, It isn’t. What we feel is highly dependent on what we feed our brains. When you think about something/someone obsessively, you tend to feel that you are attached to them. The countless romantic flicks are to be blamed for it as well. That “feeling” isn't necessarily loving, it’s a “need”. You don’t really love that person, you just want them to fill an empty slot that’s inside you.
2. “Beauty”: Another thing that has been glamorized excessively by media is “love at first sight”. There cannot exist anything like that. Yes, you can appreciate someone’s beauty or behavior but isn’t enough to be defined as love. And in fact, it’s the meanest thing you can ever tell anyone. “I fell in love with you at first sight” just means “I don’t care about who you are and what kind of a person you are but I love how you look and I want to date you to boost my ego.” Beauty may play an important role in love but love isn’t always about beauty.
3. “We are so similar”: This may be a very important point in maintaining a good relationship but it doesn’t always qualify for love. In love or in a relationship, it’s very important to understand that it’s a union of two people, two different people with different needs, wants, ideas and choices. There may be a lot of similarities but there would be a lot of differences too.
And hence love isn’t always about what you see around, it’s what you and your partner feel. Every love is different, every love is unique and that’s what makes it so beautiful. Let it be that way.
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About the Author:
Shivam is the author of two best-selling self-help books, “How to unleash your true potential” and “Finding the Magic in You”.
You can follow him on Instagram at www.instagram.com/shivamnow
On Twitter: www.twitter.com/shivamnow
